Homemaker

God how I hate that title. I prefer Stay at home mom or household CEO but whatever.

Anyway I bring this up because as of late I have run into many people that I have not seen in many years. Maybe because I am out and about more because I have cabin fever, who knows. We get to chatting and inevitable the question comes up about what I am doing now, am I using my college degree, etc etc. So I proudly say I am a stay at home mom. Most of the older women and men that I talk to (you know, old teachers, parents of friends, older previous co-workers) are pretty excited for me. Most think it is wonderful that I have this opportunity. Alot of them though were also SAHP at some point in their childrens' lives. They tell me how much better it is for the children and being poor at this point will really not matter in the future. I agree. I just wish that some of my old friends, now known as acquaintances, could see the value and importance in this decision. They tell me I am wasting my degree. They ask how I can be satisfied just serving my husband and raising children. They ask if I get bored. They ask if we are rich or something. They think (although it is not spoken, I KNOW they are thinking it) that I am LAZY. These people generally do not have kids. They don't realize how much I actually do or how I have to be creative with meals and with budgeting. They can't imagine how I can do this every day and we are not buried under a heap of debt. I can tell you my secret. I don't bother to explain to the others because they don't get it and probably won't at least until they have children of their own and even then some will not understand.

My secret: BUDGETING! and watching sales

That's it. We budget. I lived very frugally the 2 1/2 years it took me to earn my associates' degree in Business Management. I worked 60 hours a week at 3 jobs plus went to school full-time. I honestly believe that even though I don't use my degree, the college experience and my life experience from that time helps immensely in this. I do not regret going to college at all. While working and going to school I only had myself to support (except for 4 months during which I supported my brother as well). I had tuition to pay, books to buy, plus all the regular living expenses. I figured out how to budget. I learned how to feed myself and my brother on $20 a week on some occasions. The $400 we budget for groceries now...HA that's a breeze and most months I can feed the 4 of us on $250 or less( this does not include soda however because Hubby takes soda in his lunch everyday and it must be Mountain Dew. Although I have been sneaking in a generic orange or grape lately and he hasn't complained). Then the extra money gets put in savings for emergencies or when there is a really great sale on something we need.

Shopping sales.
First of all, you must figure out if it is something you will actually use. No sense in buying that name brand ketchup on sale for $1, if you usually use the generic and it is normaly 85 cents for the same size. Sure it is only 15 cents but that 15 cents saved on numerous items will add up. Check out your local grocery store. My biggest money saver is on meat, particularly ground beef. I watch when they have it on sale. They always have too much after the sale is done and it is perishable so they must get rid of it or throw it out. I check on Sundays in the evening. If there is a lot left I check the dates. Expiring the next day or in a couple days? Cool! I know to go into my local store at about 9 AM the day it is expiring and it will be marked down to 99 cents a pound. I usually buy $20-$25 worth and repackage and freeze it. Of course you have to be a little careful and check it out. If it is really brown and not red anymore, I pass on it. When I get home to repackage it, I smell it. If it has a bit of an odor ( it is hard to explain this odor but meat that is about to go bad has a distinct smell to it) I use it right away that day. One thing that will preserve it a little longer is to brown it and then freeze it. You can use the crumbled browned meat in casseroles or other dishes that call for it and you will have saved yourself a step.

Shopping at a discount grocer.
One other way I save money is to shop at Aldi's. If you are not fortunate enough to have an aldi's near you, I feel for you. Aldi's is fantastic. They sell their brand of food, generic, basic, pantry staple type stuff, as well as milk, meat, vegetables, etc. We generally only buy freezer stuff and noodles, soups, canned vegetables, etc there. My basic pantry stuff. They have special buys sometimes but I usually ignore them because A. we don't need it B. It sometimes costs more there than if you were to buy it at Walmart.

I do a lot of my shopping at Walmart as well. Aldi's and Walmart are in the same town, about 20 minutes away. I make a once a month trip. I hire a sitter for the kids and I go. It is much easier and cheaper to bargain shop without the kids. If I have to take the kids, I take a break with them in between stores and we will go to McDonalds' (it is a treat for K to eat at McDonald's and it doesn't happen often and usually comes from the dollar menu.). My once monthly trip is very involved but saves money in the long run. I get enough diapers for K for the month (ouch! we use cloth on O but not at night so she usually only requires one package to Kait's two packages), I get all of our paper goods, cleaners, all the cat food, cat litter and anything else we will use for the next month, with the exception of bread and milk and fresh fruit and vegetables. Those items I get enough for a week and then shop my local store for those items when needed.

We also have a bent and dent grocery in the area. I generally go there for canned veggies only. They are the cheapest by far and have name brand veggies. I go once every 3-4 months and get a case of 60 cans of veggies (mixed to my liking) for $18. Can't beat that!!

A few other tips:

Use generics when possible. Of course there are some things that you just want or like better in the name brand (we do too) so we buy them but most things there is little to no difference between generic and name brand.

Clip coupons. Granted they are only helpful when you actually use the item. On occasion I have had coupons that make the name brand cheaper than the generic version but usually that is not the case.

Watch sales.

Don't shop on an empty stomach.

If you don't need it or use it, don't buy it. Even if it is a great price.

Make a list of what you need before you go, if it is not on the list don't buy it. Of course there are exceptions to this but it is a general rule that I follow.

Most of these tips have been preached over and over but they work well for me. I am sure there are more I use that I haven't thought of but I am getting long winded.

The reason I went off on this is because I got thinking after talking to a lady I knew last night. She said it must be really hard to live on one income and no really, it is not for us. We set ourselves up for it when I got pregnant with O so we are in good shape. We have enough money to live on for at least 3 months if something catastropic were to happen. We used our extra money when I was working to pay down our debt so my car is almost paid for, the SUV is paid for (with a little help from changing jobs), we have less than $1000 in credit card debt (which will be paid off this month). We only have the mortgage, utilities, and our living expenses (groceries and gas) to pay each month so we are doing pretty well for ourselves.

ONE more thing:
I do NOT advocate getting free stuff from the government but I will say that if you are eligible for WIC or other assistance, by all means, you should look into it. We get WIC for the kids. We are eligible for other assistance which we did not accept. We did not need the heating assistance as we pre-bought our heating fuel for the winter and felt the money should go to those in more need than us. We did not accept the food stamps we were offered because we are not in need currently. If at some point in the future we are in need, we will look into it.

Judge me if you must but honestly, my feelings are that my husband and I have both worked for years full-time, we paid our taxes, we volunteered time, we donated to the food pantry. We helped when and where we could. If a time comes where we need the help, I will not feel guilty taking it because I have paid into the system for all of my working years and my husband is still paying in. The programs are there to help people that need it. Of course, you may think well go get a job. But then someone else will be raising my children for the way less than minimum wage I would be make after taxes and childcare costs. who wins (or loses) then? In the way we are doing things now, the children win. And in reality, isn't that the most important thing?

I also want to add that we by no means live in a mansion. We live in an older house. We drive older vehicles. Not extremely old but older. We do not have big screens TVs or fancy electronics. We do not have any "toys" such as motorcycles. I hear so much about people who take advantage of the system while earning 6 figure incomes. That is NOT us. We buy our clothes at the thrift store, not the mall. I do not own a prada or gucci or coach anything. My kids wear old navy, baby gap and other name brands ( as well as $2 walmart clothes) but that is because I buy them at garage sales or the thrift store, not the actual store.

Why do I feel the need to defend myself and my actions? Simply put, Judgemental people. I am judged by some people that I once considered friends because of my decisions. These people have not walked in my shoes, nor know what we have been or are going through. Most of them cannot fathom the amount of planning and discipline it took to make this decision and be able to do it. Those are the people that will never understand me. I shouldn't have to explain myself to them but to those that don't know me, many things could be inferred from my decisions and if there are any questions, I am willing to explain. I do not hold back. I do not lie. I just tell it like it is, for better or worse.

I have been thinking

I have been thinking the last few days of sneaky ways I can still make our favorite foods but how to do so in a healthier manner. Hubby is putting on some weight as well. He needed to though. He was too skinny when we started dating. He has put on about 35 lbs since we met. That is good for him because he was only 120 lbs and 5'10" when we started dating. He weighs about 155 now. There are healthy issues on his side of the family so we need to make sure that he stays healthy. Diabetes is a big thing on his side. He won't give up his mountain dew or switch to diet so I am going to change other things.

Some of my ideas:

Use Splenda in place of regular and brown sugar in all my baking.
Make more meals with chicken and other non-red meats.
Less meats and more veggies in the casseroles and other dishes I make.
Have more healthy snacks available.

Snacking is not really a big problem for Hubby. He doesn't really snack much at all and he doesn't like chocolate, cake or cookies. He is lactose intolerant so for his calcium, I get the OJ with added calcium. He can tolerate small amounts of milk, cheese, etc. So I sneak it in to casseroles and other dishes. I have started adding calcium enriched veggies to sauces, like spaghetti and he has yet to notice a difference.

a tip

I found that if I drink a big glass of water 15 to 20 minutes before eating dinner, I eat less at dinner because I feel fuller faster. Since I am usually in bed by 8 or 9 pm and we eat dinner about 5, I don't usually get hungry later either.

tips

here is a tip for making ground beef a little less fatty. Drain your browned beef in a collander and then run some hot water over it. That will help get rid of more of the fat that may remain after draining. I read this somewhere but I can't remember where so I can't quote it exactly. But that was the gist of it.