My weight...

So my weight as of Friday morning was 245.6. WOOO HOOO!! Hopefully this next week is good to me as I cannot get outside because it will be nasty but I am hoping that doing all my spring cleaning will help get my butt moving.

It's been awhile since I posted

Almost a week! Gosh, I can't believe that. It has been really busy around this house. Potty training (or at least trying to), My friend is home from Iraq for 2 1/2 weeks then she heads back over, Hubby's cousin (actually I am not exactly sure how she is related~she is in her 50's so she really isn't a cousin but she is somehow related) rolled her truck and broke vertebrae in her back, and just a slew of other things have kept me from the computer most of the last week. I have had about 5 minutes here and there to jump on, visit a few sites and that's about it.

I didn't meet a single one of my weight loss goals last month. I started out the month not being able to work out because of my illness. I have been feeling better but lacked the motivation. Yesterday K and I got out for a walk, which did help my motivation. I weighed myself yesterday and have only gained back 2 lbs of what I lost so that is encouraging. I know once I start working out again I should get back on track and start losing right away. I am going to try to fit in some exercise each day this week. Even if it is not structured exercise, I plan to do some deep cleaning at the homestead and that should get me sweating. I am going to also up my water intake, I NEED to get away from the diet cola.

That's all for now. It's off to start our day. UGH Mondays!

weekends off

I am starting a new phase of my weight loss. I am calling it "weekends off". During the week, I will continue to count calories and exercise but I am taking weekends off. If I feel like exercising fine, but I do not have to, most likely I still will because it has become such a big part of my routine. Because my stomach cannot hold as much food, I just watch myself and when I start to feel full, I quit eating. I have found that I tend to eat less most weekends, when I am not counting calories because I am not obsessing over food. So anyway I am trying it and seeing if it works out.

It's Friday

and that means it is my check-in day.

My weight today is 243 for a weekly loss of 2.4 lbs. I should not have lost weight this week. I only worked out once. The only reason that I can figure is because of the stress I have had this week and being sick the first 2 days of the week. When I get stressed I normally eat but this week I made a conscious effort not to while I was stressing. I still ate but I picked healthy things instead of junk food.

I am getting so close to a goal of 15 lbs lost. 1 more lb to go. 15 lbs since November 21st. I have lost an average of 1.5 lbs a week since starting. Wooo hooo!!!!

check in day

245.4 not bad for not really counting calories this week. I slacked off a bit in the exercise too.

I tried on some pants last night. Size 18 and 1 size 17 and they fit. I could get them on and buttoned. They were a little too tight yet for my taste but I could wear them. Yeah!!! The scale may not be reflecting much of a loss but I am definitly slimming down.

This NEVER happens...NEVER

Hubby is going grocery shopping with the kids and I this weekend. It is only happening because he is getting some work done on the SUV and doesn't want to sit at the dealership while they are working on it. We are doing our once-a-month pantry stocking. I am so glad he is going. He can see what it is like to try and grocery shop with 2 kids in tow. It will be nice for me to have the help and for him to be able to pick out some things for his lunch. I never know what to get him because he doesn't like things like cakes and cookies. He will eat an oatmeal creme pie every now and then but he really would rather not.
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My weight flucuates so much. UGH! I am glad that I have taken to only counting one weigh in a week. Yesterday my weight was at 245.2. Today it is back up to 246.2. Still a bit of a loss for the week. I am feeling unmotivated this week. I don't feel like working out, my right shoulder is so sore I have been doing the weight lifting motions but not using any weight. I am hoping that going through the motions will loosen it up so it stops hurting. I have been feeling like just giving up lately. I know I cannot but I feel like doing so. I am not overdoing it. I just think that I am bored with winter and I need a change.

a compliment

It is so easy to look at myself and say god I am so fat. I wish my stomach was smaller. I wish I could fit into my clothes but when my husband notices, with my clothes on, that I am smaller in areas, it makes me feel like this is all worth it. He noticed tonight that my belly is smaller in my clothes and that my butt and thighs look tighter. My exercise pants looked better on my according to him. That makes me feel like a million bucks to hear him say that, especially without me asking him if he notices any differences.

feeling good, feeling great

I am feeling wonderful today. I took the whole weekend off from counting calories but I watched what I ate. I weighed myself this morning and I did not gain nor lose weight since Sunday. I tried on a pair of pants that I used to wear and I could get them up to just below my belly today. My waist is down another inch since the last time I measured. I think the difficult ab section in the long version of my workout video is really helping that. Now if I could just get in more cardio to burn that fat off. I am doing cardio during my workout but my favorite cardio activity is taking the kids for a walk. I decided to do more cardio. I thought about replaying the cardio sections in my workout video but I decided that I am just going to do my own version of it to some music. That way K can dance with me too.

ideal weight calculator

I found this calculator on a website about weight loss. I find that this calculator is much more accurate in regards to a healthy weight than the medical recommendation is. To test my theory I polled a small group of women also trying to lose weight and some that are considered to be in their healthy range by their doctors. All the women said that this calculator seems more accurate than the ones that are medically recommended. I know for myself that this calculator is much more accurate. It gives me and ideal weight that is one pound lighter than my goal weight. I will still be about 12 pounds heavier than the heaviest weight on my recommended range but I feel this is much more accurate. If I get to the medical range, I will not look nor feel healthy.

If you change it to what your goal weight is, it gives you an ideal weight that is lower than what your goal weight is. It is basically set up to show you what other people your weight, age and gender think is an ideal weight.

thoughts

I have been thinking a lot lately about my goal. My end goal of 180 lbs by O's first birthday. That is 77 lbs lost. That is exactly 1/2 of my husbands weight. Both of my kids together don't even weigh 77lbs. How did I get this way? Why did I let it go this far?

I have been heavy all my life, except for a couple year stretch during and after my eating disorder time. I weighed about 230 my freshman year of high school. I can't tell you how much I weighed during highschool because I never stepped on a scale. I know I gained after that. I was active in sports, I worked a part-time job after school but I ate junk food. My parents are not the healthiest people either. They do not eat the healthiest food, do not worry about calories, do not exercise. I never really learned about how to diet and exercise in a healthy way, until I was forced to seek help for my eating disorder.

I think part of the reason it went so far is because I was tired. I know that is not an acceptable excuse but that is my reason. I worked full-time and then some. I got married, got settled, had kids. Trying to keep up the household, the kids and working full-time with little help from my husband because he was working 60 + hours a week. I was too tired to exercise. Now I realize that I still could have exercised but I needed to schedule it, just like I would any other commitment.

Graphs and weight loss

I love the little graph that shows your progress on sparkpeople. I am right on target to meet my overall goal of 180 by O's first birthday. As you can see on the graph, I really didn't start doing much until Christmas. I really love having a visual aid. It motivates me.

GO ME!!!

I have official lost 10 lbs!!! I am so excited. I am feeling so much better about myself.

compromise

Marriage is about compromise and that is just what hubby and I did. Because of his concern over my dieting and exercise, I will be taking 1 day a week where I do not count calories or worry about what or how much I eat. I will still exercise but I will not be concerned about food.

I am not....

Hubby told me tonight that he thinks I am overdoing the weight loss thing. I don't see it. He said so because he saw me measuring out my portions for dinner tonight. I measured out 1 cup of green beans, 1 cup of potatoes and 1 cup of milk. I did not have to measure out the country fried steak because that is from a bag and the calories are listed by a 1 patty serving. He doesn't understand.

I am losing about 2 lbs a week. Some weeks a little more, some a little less. I am doing this healthy. We didn't fight over it. He just said that I need to be careful. I am being careful. I want this to be the last time that I ever have to diet. I am making healthy living changes.

It makes me feel like he doesn't support me, almost like he wants me to be fat. He is not fat. He is 5'11" 155 lbs. So I am feeling a bit down tonight. I am trying so hard to do this for myself and the family and to hear him say I am overdoing it, hurts. It is like he just doesn't understand. I know that he doesn't understand because he has never dealt with weight issues. I don't think he realizes how hard it will be for me, if I just let myself continue to overeat. I am grateful for his concern but yet I feel defeated at the same time.

I figured it out

Today for breakfast I ate 1 serving of dry cereal, 1/2 cup of peaches and 1 cup of milk. I was not even hungry at lunch time. Usually by the third day of cutting calories and journaling ( I have done this in the past) I am STARVING. Today is different. I think I finally figured out what has eluded me all these years. I NEED to eat more but a healthier more and SLOWER. That's what it is. Seems obvious right? It has been there in my face all these years but today the lightbulb finally lit. I was completely full after breakfast. I ate slower, I talked to Kait in between bites. I took the time to savor each bit. I did the same with my salad for lunch. Ate slowly, relished each bite and when I was full, I quit eating. Why I say I need to eat more is because other times I have tried dieting and failed was because I cut my calories too drastically in the beginning. I would go from normal eating of about 25oo calories a day down to 1200 overnight. No wonder why I couldn't lose weight and gave up so quickly.

One thing I am trying this time around ( MY LAST TIME DIETING! I AM GOING TO DO IT THIS TIME AND NEVER HAVE TO DIET AGAIN!!) is giving myself a calorie intake range. My range is 1500-1800. I will make myself eat at least 1500 calories a day (not that it is going to be a problem) but I am giving myself more room for snacking on days I am more hungry. I understand now that setting an absolute maximum and setting it too low is going to cause me more problems than it will do good. Setting a limit that is too low will actually circumvent all the hard work I am putting into exercising. I am more likely to "cheat" and just give up, if I set it too low. Basically I would be setting myself up for failure. Makes sense now!

Check-in day

I am down 1 lb since Wednesday or 2 lbs for the week. I have lost an average of almost 1 1/2 lbs a week since starting my diet & exercise routine. That is a good steady weight loss. I am definitely past my first goal of breaking the 250 mark on my scale. Next mini goal is 10 lbs of total loss.

I tried on a pair of pants today that I have not been able to wear for awhile, size 18. They fit! I could get them on and button them without a struggle. They are a bit too tight to actually wear without looking like I am suffocating myself but they fit!!! I tried on a different pair of size 18 then. Different brand and they did not fit. I could not even get them over my belly. Why are jeans so different sized depending on the brand?

I had no idea

I really had no idea until I started journaling, just how many calories I was eating a day. OMG, no wonder the weight was not coming off. I was eating between 2500-3000 calories a day. WOW! I was shocked to say the least. I would make pancakes for me and K, 1/4 cup of pancake mix has 150 calories. I would make at least 1 cup of it. Give Kait a pancake and eat the other 3-4 myself. Top that off with Syrup, I use the lite kind at 100 calories in a 1/4 cup. Plus add 2 1/2 sausage patties at 250 each. I am still eating pancakes and sausage, because I like it. But I make 1 sausage patty for me and Kait to share. I eat pancakes but 1/4 cup makes 2 small pancakes. I use very little syrup. I also added in some canned pineapple on the side. Nice breakfast at about 350 calories.

I worked out this morning. I tried to fit in the long version but I only got about 3/4 of the way through it because the kids needed me. I will try to finish it during K's naptime. I have been trying to stay moving today.

I am noticing ever so slight changes in my body. My thighs are getting tighter and smaller. My abs looks a bit smaller. My arms are getting a bit more definition. I can tell where my collar bone is now. It peeks out just a bit when I move my shoulder. Hubby says he is noticing a change in my butt as well. I am able to do more of the ab exercises in my workout video.

I did my measurements today as well. Since 11/21 I have lost:
waist~1 3/4 inches. I am attributing this to the ab workout. I really have no other explanation for it because it doesn't seem like I have lost enough pounds to have that much of a difference.

hips~ 1 1/2 inches. Same as above

neck~ 3/4 of an inch

I really like seeing results. Not many people have really noticed the weight loss, just me and Hubby. But when you have a lot to lose, I think people don't really take notice until you lose 15-20 lbs. Maybe that is just me but that is what I think. Maybe also because it is winter and I tend to wear heavy clothes: sweatshirts, my bulky winter jacket, etc.

I was thinking

I was just sitting here thinking how nice it would be to see that I only have 50 lbs to lose. Yeah Geez only 50 but seriously that would be a great achievement. I will have lost almost 30 lbs at that point. Only 40 to go means I am halfway there. Gosh what an achievement that will be. Seeing my little ticker at the bottom say 30 lbs lost. I would be giddy with excitement. I will get there soon. I know I will. First stop though is 10 lbs. 10 lbs lost. I am almost there. Slow steps. I should be there by the end of the month.

OMG so excited.

I FINALLY broke 250. I weighed 249.6 this morning. That makes me extremely happy. Now if I would only eat better, the weight would probably come off even better than it currently is.

Music, etc

I love listening to music when I am working out, especially rock music. Gets my *ss moving! Anyway this song playing when you first open my blog is Neurosonic's so many people. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song. I an not sure why exactly, I think it is the overall sound of it.

I did not eat very well the last few days. Lasagna, Christmas cookies and a couple pieces of fudge. I NEED to really get serious about losing weight but I am just not feeling it with being sick and K being sick. I am going to take both of us to the Doctor tommorrow and we are going to get checked out. I think I have a double ear infection and I think K has a sinus infection as well as an ear infection.

Starting tommorrow I am journaling my food intake as well. That was my biggest help when losing weight previously. I need to give myself a "window" for calorie intake though, not an absolute end all be all calorie intake. That was my mistake before and I need to avoid that. So I am going to find out my calories required and set up a range of low to high. I need a little room to play because somedays I am hungrier than others and I would like to be able to have a snack if I so desire.